4/23/2006

An Apology and a bunch of other stuff.....

It is already Sunday again and I haven't posted for a week. I so want to apologize for being such a neglectful blogger girl; not writing on my blog and but so much more importantly for not visiting very many other blogs for what seems like a few weeks. I am so sorry. Between being sick, my CFS flaring and the accompanying paralyzing fatigue, trying to stay on top of the Warming Grace project and simple day to day tasks I have been able to do little else. I feel so disconnected and disjointed. I miss my old routine (which I was barely on top of anyway!). I try to whine little. I try not to complain too much about this freaking illness that eeks away at the quality of my life. I am feeling a little whiny right now (actually I would like to curl up in the fetal position and wail). Getting my head cold was probably the camel breaking straw (and after all these years I still don't always catch the signs) - I am still sick (I have earaches in both ears - painful really - since Wednesday night; still mucousy, blah, blah, blah) and I cannot begin to explain the kind of fatigue I experience - it is this life sucking, brain fogged, dragging my ass through each moment horrible crap. I am so sorry. I am going to endeavour to get out there and visit all you lovely bloggers. All I want to do is sleep (but that isn't happening well either - it all comes crashing down at the same time) and get rid of my joint aches. At the same time I feel so disillusioned with all that is happening in our world. As I look out my window and see nothing but green grass, trees and nature I feel despair for the natives protesting as they continue to receive no compensation from our government for all we have taken from them (I am a 9th generation Canadian but, still an immigrant) and feel that protesting is their only option left; 4 more Canadian soldiers dead (not including the thousands of American soldiers killed as well as the other Canadian soldiers killed and civilians) because as a society in general we can't figure out how to get along and greed and power rule the world; all those sick and suffering; the levels of poverty which will only get worse with global warming, the rise in gas prices and our ongoing inability to truly care about each other's suffering and to engender proactive ways to resolve them. How are we going to change the world for better for our children? And what kind of children are we raising? I am in a mood. Again I am so sorry. The knitting community warms me. And my friends. And my family. And my 'ole dog Gryphon. I am very fortunate. Today is my best friend, Carole's, birthday. Happy Birthday Carole! Carole is amazing; she is kind, patient, generous, compassionate and loyal. We laugh a lot together. She is there for me and is so incredibly tolerant of all my illness related failings. Carole rocks. She is always up for an adventure and she has enthusiastically allowed me to lead her astray. My friendship with Carole is a gift. We had planned to meet on Friday and stay the night at the Crowne Plaza before going to the DKC's Knitters Frolic yesterday. They had an incredible rate ($130.00 for both of us for the one night!) and I knew I wouldn't be able to drive down from the farm on Saturday. I had to really push myself to get there on Friday (I am so tired) but you know it was really worth it and I kept thinking about my buddy Carole! We had a nice dinner in our room (Ed and Nick were there to help celebrate) and then this lemon pie thingy for dessert. We gave Carole some really groovy gifts; a Jordana Paige messenger bag, 2 skeins of Artyarns, 2 skeins of Lorna's Laces and 2 skeins of Fleece Artist (and if I was more with it I would have taken pictures!). Thanks to Amy from Make 1 Yarns and Village Yarns for the goodies! The Frolic was good. I ended up not staying for the whole day; I really wasn't feeling well so I bailed halfway through the day which was a good decision (I didn't get to my last class but Carole got the handout and took notes, lots of notes). I have to say this was the first time I have missed a class; I usually go regardless of how I am feeling. The weather was so crappy (rainy, foggy and generally miserable) and the drive was long. I took a Celtic Cables class with Fiona Ellis - she is amazing; and a Chart Reading class with Joan Kass - she rocks too! I saw so many awesome people there that was definitely worth it. The Market was bigger than last year and there was lots of stuff to see. I am sorry I was not able to truly appreciate it all. Village Yarns was there and I got to see Karen, Julia, Patrick and Wanda; Ann and Carol (FinishTouch1@aol.com) were there with their amazing blocking kits and Carol's cool buttons; Needle Emporium had groovy stuff for sale and I saw not only Julie, but also her sister Beth and Bev Nimon (I have a photo but I know they will kill me if I post it so I won't!). It was great to see Bev and she was wearing this amazing sweaters (details I cannot remember) ; but then Bev always looks amazing. I did pick up 2 skeins of Mountain Colors sock yarn I had ordered a while ago from Julie. It is so nice. Ellen from Needles and Pins was there and Gloria, who also teaches at Village, was helping her out. There is no question that how I felt had an impact on my minimal amount of shopping. I bought some Soak. If you can get your hands on this stuff; do! It smells lovely and wool washed with it does not have that wet wool smell after. It comes in 3 fragrances; Flora, Aquae and Citrus. You have to try it. I also got a skein of 100% Alpaca from Hidden Touch (hiddentouch@magma.ca) to make a scarf for Ed. It is so soft; it is lovely. I am truly sorry I wasn't able to peruse more. There was a lot of great wool there and I wish I could have bought some. I can tell I was not well; I came home with next to nothing! I have to say though that I was so glad to get home yesterday and just curl up. I always hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Warming Grace Update When I got home look what was waiting for me (see below)! Okay it wasn't waiting outside but I am starting to get squares, lots of squares. There are 146 knitters registered and I admit I am getting excited about how great these blankies are going to look! I want to give a HUGE shout out of thanks to J, Kathie, Janice, Francesca, Carole, Celia, Birdsong, Joanne, Jessa Lu, Jessica, Samantha, Katie, Christina, Monika and Rhonda for your squares! They are beautiful and so soft! All the extra goodies are amazing. I promise to take pictures and get posting but I so wanted to make sure you know how much this is appreciated! You are so wonderful.

22 comments:

jackie said...

O.K. It's offical. I am adding you to my prayer list. You sound like you could use some. I understand your suffering. I HATE being sick and feeling tired. For so long I had felt well and the past few years I have been feeling tired and out of sorts.It has been especially bad for the past few months. I am pretty sure that it is allergy related (at least I hope it is because then I know that it will pass when the tree pollen and molds are gone) Dishes haven't been getting done, laundry is late. I am "dropping balls" that I had been juggling for a long time with no problem.
However, I am very taken with your Warming Grace project. She is so beautiful. Her eyes are like my 2 year olds. I would like to send a few squares in honour of my healthy children. I can't imagine what she and her parents are going through. My baby is sleeping in my arms and I just want to tuck her in my heart so that nothing will ever happen to her. A few knit squares seem like such a little thing to do. I have sent a couple of e-mails, and now I understand why you have not been able to reply. Take your time. my squares are not going any where, yet.

Blessings

batman said...

thanks for showing the picture of all the squares arriving. i was wondering how best to send them!

Miss Scarlett said...

Hello Cynthia!
Do NOT apologize for being ill. You need to rest to recuperate. Blogging and surfing takes more energy than most of us realize. You have a family and friends and a farm that need you more than our blog-sites!
I totally know how you feel about this world. The news is dreadful, there are a lot of ugly things that happen to people everyday. I agree we need to start making changes in so many different parts of our lives.
But don't let it rob you of all joy. It is hard not to when you are tired and ill. You sound like you need a hug and a cup of hot tea - I wish I was there to give you both.
I am glad to hear that the squares are arriving - there are still a lot of people with love to give who want to make positive changes and you are blessed to have met so many of them!
I hope you have a better day. I think of you often.

Michelle

Ooh your weekend sounds like it was fun!

j @ canknitian said...

Hello lovely lady

Sorry to hear that you're still dealing with your head cold, but glad to hear that you got out for the frolic, at least for a little while. Sounds like it was fun.

I'm envious of the resources available to you in your area! It's wonderful, and I attend / learn vicariously through you.

Take care of yourself.

Cathy said...

I am so so sorry to hear that you are suffering so much! I'm glad you got out a bit on Friday, it sounds like you had a good time while you were there, even though you are feeling so poorly. I pray that you feel better soon - thanks for sharing your day - I will get going on my square asap - I NEED to make a trip to the LYS to get some special yarn ;) Please take care of yourself.

amanda said...

You must have really been under the weather to only walk away with minimal yarn! I think it speaks volumes about you as a person that you were still willing to go to T and endure your fatigue/snot thing to help celebrate your friends birthday. I guess she knows she is a lucky gal though.

Wannietta said...

The Frolic was wonderful, wasn't it? I'm glad you made it and that I met you in person.
Bev's Jacket was from a Knit N Style (I don't remember exactly which one, but it wasn't too long ago), but I made some modifications. Julie has them.

I wish for you a better day tomorrow, including happy news.

Gingersnaps with Tea... said...

Sorry to hear you have been so under the weather. You shouldn't apologize for whining (or curling up and wailing for that matter) my Sister had chronic fatigue and we both have severe chemical allergies so I've seen how devastaing it can be. It amazes me you get as much done as you do!
The whole thing in Afghanastan is scary isn't it? My X's sister is married to a member of the PPCLI staioned in Edmonton. Every time he gets sent overseas, she goes through shear hell. He's not in Afghanastan right now, but he's going back soon and she is dreading it.
On an up note, my squares should be in the mail tomorrow! I can't wait to see pictures of all the squares. And I'll say it again… kudos to you for starting such a wonderful project.

Abigail 1870 pearl said...

Cyber hugs and get well. I only wish you lived closer. I would be happy to cook for you and ease your burden a bit. Be at peace and don't worry about a thing. We love you no matter what:0)

Lisa said...

I'm so sorry you've been feeling so crappy....here's hoping you have a better week ahead of you.

Debstmomy said...

CFS sucks rocks...I am so sorry. You LYS sounds so cool! I want a cool LYS. Oh, that is my envelope on top!!! LOL!

Pink One said...

It was great seeing you on Saturday. I'm so sorry you were not feeling well, I would have loved to hang out for a while. I restrained myself from buying yarn ... no bad influences (I won't mention names) around me but I did buy a couple of gadgets and patterns and some beads!
Glad to see my bedtime blog is back.

Take care and feel better.

Dawn

Julia said...

Hey Cynthia,
sorry to hear about your feeling crappy and I hope you're finding enough time to recuperate and, yeah, curl up and whine;-) You need to recharge to be ready for sewing the blankies together, YAY!:-D I sent my squares off today!
Get well soon,
Julia

Kelly said...

I hope you feel better soon! I will be sending out the squares and yarn tomorrow. Get some rest and get well soon!

Rhonda said...

Hi Cynthia, Hope you feel better soon. Could you send my your address, my squares are ready to to. davrhon (at) sympatico (dot) ca I sent an e-mail but hadn't heard from you yet. I'm sure your very busy.
Thanks :)

Rhonda said...

I'm glad you were still able to get out, but #1 -- get WELL. That's 1st priority! I bet you'll wake up soon tho & say "Hey, what cold?" and all will be well with the knitting world. We'll get in touch again soon ...

Anny said...

I too often find the troubles of the world overwhelming. Especially now that I brought a little one into the world. Though I am hopeful for the world. And I try to follow Mahatma Gandhi's appeal: be the change you want to see in the world. It's really powerful ;0)

Get well soon, Cynthia!

Knittymama said...

Cynthia, I'm so sorry that you've been feeling ill! Lots of hugs and prayers to you!

I've got my squares done and ready to ship! When you are feeling up to it, could you send your address to knittymama at yahoo dot com? Then I'll get them sent out asap! Take care and I hope you are feeling better soon!

Jenn said...

Sorry to hear that you're feeling bad! I send good wishes your way along with some squares. I will probably pop them in the mail today or tomorrow.

Melissa said...

Sounds like you had a really busy trip!
The yarn you got looks great!
I have got to get my square in the mail to you!
Hope you are feeling better soon. My little cousin (Hooker from my blog) has CFS, but has made some changes that have helped her dramatically. But, I remember when she had bad days and it was terrible. Hope you are well soon.

thordora said...

Sending mine tomorrow. Only one though, since my children have this THING with hunting for and frogging any work I haven't nailed down. Also going to add some Lupin Seeds for her to plant when she's feeling better.

Carole said...

Our friendship is one of the most important parts of my life - you do make a big difference! We share so much - our pains, hurts, our laughs, our good and bad times. This is a TRUE friendship that will last and last. I'm so glad we met - and I'm sincerely appreciative for you and "the boys" love and support. You're also there for me - in my good and bad times too. I only wish I could retire today, move out your way - we'd have to build workshop just for you and me. (OK, we'd certainly open our door to others who appreciate fibre).

Thanks for an amazing birthday - words can't express how greatful I am for everything.

Talk soon. Love as always,

Carole