Oh What a Crappy Week I've Had....

There are times when chronic illness sucks. This week was one of them. It is always an up and down battle and the whole detoxing/cleansing process I am going through can be rough. What makes this week difficult is that there are times when a crisis happens and I cannot knit. The crisis can sometimes sneak up unwittingly and then there are times when I think if I ride it through it will go away...it usually doesn't. So from last Thursday I had this incessant buzzing and noise in my head, couldn't sleep, had nausea and these bouts of sweating, dizziness and racing heartbeat. I just tried to ignore it because I am not really a whiner. My period (I am so not PC) arrived Sunday night with a bang and I figured of course, hit me while I am down. However by Wednesday, these spells were increasing and becoming more severe. By Wednesday night it was pretty bad. I could hardly think, the dizziness was severe and the shakes and sweating were really, really bad. I was thinking hypoglycemia and I knew I needed to go to the hospital given the implications. So off I went; thank god for OHIP (I feel for people in the states - I am sure I would be one of those without health care - in Canada we are lucky to have a system that allows everyone access to health care). At the hospital they always look at me with bewilderment and I try to keep my issues to a minimum. Of course I could have one of those speed passes I have been there so many times. Was in and out relatively quickly - hypoglycemia and possibly an oncoming virus. My doctor (who is a freaking genius by the way) said that my hypoglycemia is a result of a reaction of my adrenals to the output of my period which caused an oxygen deficiency because of my abnormally small red blood cells and anemia. She referred to it as dysglycemia and put me on a new protocol ( such as having to eat protein every two hours the week before my period and having to carry apple juice and a protein bar everywhere I go in case the hypoglycemia presents itself). I have been very tired since and it is always a little hard to rebound from these moments. It just really pisses me off because I cannot concentrate enough to knit. Knitting calms me, helps me to feel productive and normal. When I am like this it all feels too overwhelming. Don't blogsurf, read my emails or generally function well because of the cognitive fatigue (which is almost like not sleeping for a week until you feel like your brain is eating itself). The battle is between me and my will. I want to function like I am well and I always struggle for this. My doctor always marvels at my will and determination but these little episodes always affect my confidence a little; they create that little bit of fear that it won't be okay and this may be the best it ever gets. So tomorrow I will post my stash and start a simple sock. I think I can handle a plain sock. My crazy ass sock will have to wait for my brain to catch up (no brownie points again this month - oh the plans of mice and men!).

Oh, and because I always love pictures here are a couple from last summer. One is some veggies from our organic garden and the other of one of my hanging planters. I started the Johnny Jump Ups (flowers to the left) and the Nasturtiums (flowers to the right) from seed. Something to look forward to.