Happy Father's Day to my Ed!
We don't usually celebrate traditional holidays (I think I have bored you all with the "we are appreciative everyday and aren't on the retailers calendar clock" diatribe before) but I do want to send a shout out to my wonderful husband on Father's Day because he is simply a terrific dad. When I was growing up I think society measured a father's worth by his ability to provide food, shelter and clothing (more or less). I was relatively afraid of my dad as a kid because he was a pretty stern guy. My dad provided me with the basics and beyond but he was a serious disciplinarian, the house ran around his needs/wants and I generally felt lazy around him. He always had lists, things to do - we sort of relaxed when he relaxed. As an adult I know this was generational and also the manner in which he was raised. I think I wished that my dad was softer and that he would 'play' with us more and worry about our school grades less. I also wished he had told me he loved me more. I knew my dad loved me but I didn't hear it; I had to understand he loved me by what he did, not by what was said (or not). At the same time my dad taught me a fantastic work ethic, a wonderful knowledge of right versus wrong and about being honest. My dad has more integrity than anyone I know. I love my Dad dearly. Fathers today are judged by different standards. Society as a rule is tough on Dads. They have to be tough yet tender, pragmatic yet emotional, decisive yet understanding. Non-custodial dads are told to love their kids in spite of barriers most normal humans wouldn't be able to endure(and I am not saying that there aren't bad dads out there - there are just as many bad moms out there too.) Ed is a fantastic dad. Despite the odds he has remained emotionally connected. He has allowed himself to be judged, humiliated and humbled by the system, his ex-wife and a few other people who felt they had the right to do so. Ed is loving and affectionate; he tells both his kids, often, that he loves them and he means it! He is tough; clear about behaviour and boundaries and, if he needs to, he rules with an iron fist (without physical or corporal punishment - we have strong feelings about that). Ed laughs with his kids, plays with them and is one of the most honest people I know. He is also very human with his kids and is always willing to apologize if he has made a mistake. He is patient, trustworthy and hardworking for his kids. He is actively involved in Nick's life; his academic, athletic and artistic pursuits. He works hard to make sure that Nick is able to attend summer camps (driving, etc) and he picks up where I cannot. Ed and Nick have a wonderful father-son relationship (they are golfing in a tournament today) and Ed and Sheree have a wonderful father-daughter relationship. Both Nick and Sheree love their Dad dearly as they should - he has earned it! Happy Father's Day Ed!