My Crazy Ass Sock

Note to reader: this post contains the word ass. If you do not like the use of the word ass please do not read this post as there is a lot of ass in this post. Thank you for your understanding.

This is my crazy assed sock. This is a crazy ass sock. Check out the length of this sucker. I am knitting up the leg and I keep looking at the foot thinking; "crazy, man, the foot is just crazy." It looks like some Ronald MacDonald sock - it is sooooooooooooooo long. I have never knit a foot as long as this foot.

I am thinking of applying for the circus.

Even better only 48 stitches around. Crazy ass.

Most of the socks I have knit range anywhere between 64 - 68 stitches; fit beautifully, really comfortable.

This crazy assed sock is 48 stitches. See how it stands up on it's on. This sock is an entity all onto itself. I bet I could get it to do tricks. See the casual way it can hang off the post and look so cool.

Wait a minute! See that sock below. Look at how much is hanging off the edge. There is something so not normal about this crazy assed sock. It looks like a regular sock and a half. Okay I know I know. The stiffness will probably come out after a washing and then, sob, the crazy assed sock will be more a limp but more wearable and soft freak. I am just awed by the length. I mean the length of the foot will probably be longer than the length of the leg.

CRAZY ASS SOCK! Now I just have regular 'ole feet. Size 8 - 8 1/2, depending on what shoe I am wearing. Not too narrow, not too wide (okay I admit when my fibromyalgia is flaring up, my ankles puff up and look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy - today is a semi okay kind of day; slightly puffy). Currently very pale (well and perhaps a little blue; it is still a little bloody cold outside today) and in serious need of a pedicure (it has been about 6 months - aaagggghhhh!!!).

And aside from the fact that I think that most feet are somewhat bizarre, mine more so - note the wierd little toe/digit, and perhaps on the ugly side, my feet are really nothing special. But those 48 stitches. Seemed a little too few.

So first I cast on 72 stitches. In the Oriel pattern the first two choices are 48 or 72 stitches. Knit about 4 inches on the foot and realized that 72 stitches was going to be way too big. So I ripped (oh yes I love using that so non politically correct term RIP) it out and recast on with 48 stitches.

I figured I would just give it to my momma (she has lovely dainty little tootsies about size 7 1/2 or so) and that would be that. I was trying to gauge the length as I knit along the crazy assed sock and I figured it was long enough. Having never done a sock from the toe up I now realize there are different considerations.

As I finished the heel flap and gusset I began to realize that this sock was looooong. Really, really long. I move up the gusset decrease and heel-back and the whole thing is starting to bother me. I mean the foot is just plain crazy assed. 48 stitches wide and like 48 feet long! I keep checking out the stretch in this puppy with my hand and it is crazy. I can stick my fist in no problem; stretches just fine.

So I think what the heck; I will try it on. You know what? The crazy assed sock fits. Like a glove. Like it was made for me.

In fact, there is even a little room around the ankle. Go figure.

This is one crazy assed sock!

The detail looks good, the lace shows off really nicely and it fits so good. I can't even believe it. The Ronald MacDonald sock with 48 stitches fits my foot! I don't know if my mom is going to see this sock (it may be a little long for her). I seriously want to get this crazy assed sock finished and block it. I just keep shaking my head! The shawl is done. Another miracle. Soaked it for 15 minutes in Eucalan and rinsed lightly. Wow did it grow. It was just a little lump and then suddenly it was about 10 feet long! I rolled it in a towel and laid it across our bed (we have a king size and it went down the sides). I was very impressed with how much it grew. Now when I was casting on and casting off the instructions stated to do so very very loosely. I did think at the time I was doing it loosely but I realized as I laid it out that one could do this incredibly loosely. There are a couple of areas where the shawl/scarf is a little tighter. It dried very quickly and the shawl/scarf is so soft. And there is so much of it. Now it is a simple knit, knit, knit pattern but it does show off the varigation quite nicely. I am giving this shawl to my mom when she gets back from Florida (she and my dad have been gone for about 2 months). I am giving her the Olympic Shrug and perhaps the Crazy Assed Socks. I also have to finish sewing up and finishing her Four Panel Jacket. I missed my mom. I am so glad she is going to be back soon. I do think she will like the shawl though; it looks good and feels very nice too. Sure doesn't look like that 'ole lump anymore!


Jeanne said...

Amazing shawl; hard to believe its the same one in the picture from your previous post. Its really beautiful. I like the socks - my jaywalkers are like that - they look huge, but fit my foot like a glove.

Rhonda said...

Oh dear, I have tears in my eyes. Made my day ... a good laugh can do that. And crazy arse socks are just the ticket.

Your Mom will sure love that shawl. What a nice gift and a nice daughter too make it for her. [I miss my mom too ... she lives in Florida] I think I need to make her a shawl also. Made her a shrug once.

Happy knitting!

Amanda cathleen said...

That is one crazy ass sock! Its amazing all the tricks that it can do! *L*
Love that shawl! Great Pictures. Your Mom is one lucky lady : D

Melissa said...

The shawl looks beautiful! The colors are gorgeous and it is so delicate looking!! What pattern did you use?

Samantha said...

Geeze, that is one crazy ass sock! I'm glad it fits! It looks awesome (and crazy assed). The shawl is a beauty too. :)

Lorraine The Knitting Hammy said...

Cynthia- I think your socks are beautiful. And congrats on your shawl- looks really pretty. Love the yarn.

Jenn said...

The socks look awesome! I always like your pictures too, the lighting's always so perfect! :-)

Mia said...

You are right that is one funky looking sock. But than my Jaywalkers looked the same. I am going to go and get a pedicure sometime this week. Care to join me?

amanda said...

Beautiful shawl Cynthia! It looks so light and airy and the colors so inviting.

And well, your crazy ass sock had me laughing my silly little ass off. Gracias!

Samantha said...

Happy Birthday Grace!! (And if I don't get a chance later, happy birthday Thomas!!)