My Crazy Ass Sock

Note to reader: this post contains the word ass. If you do not like the use of the word ass please do not read this post as there is a lot of ass in this post. Thank you for your understanding.

This is my crazy assed sock. This is a crazy ass sock. Check out the length of this sucker. I am knitting up the leg and I keep looking at the foot thinking; "crazy, man, the foot is just crazy." It looks like some Ronald MacDonald sock - it is sooooooooooooooo long. I have never knit a foot as long as this foot.

I am thinking of applying for the circus.

Even better only 48 stitches around. Crazy ass.

Most of the socks I have knit range anywhere between 64 - 68 stitches; fit beautifully, really comfortable.

This crazy assed sock is 48 stitches. See how it stands up on it's on. This sock is an entity all onto itself. I bet I could get it to do tricks. See the casual way it can hang off the post and look so cool.

Wait a minute! See that sock below. Look at how much is hanging off the edge. There is something so not normal about this crazy assed sock. It looks like a regular sock and a half. Okay I know I know. The stiffness will probably come out after a washing and then, sob, the crazy assed sock will be more a limp but more wearable and soft freak. I am just awed by the length. I mean the length of the foot will probably be longer than the length of the leg.

CRAZY ASS SOCK! Now I just have regular 'ole feet. Size 8 - 8 1/2, depending on what shoe I am wearing. Not too narrow, not too wide (okay I admit when my fibromyalgia is flaring up, my ankles puff up and look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy - today is a semi okay kind of day; slightly puffy). Currently very pale (well and perhaps a little blue; it is still a little bloody cold outside today) and in serious need of a pedicure (it has been about 6 months - aaagggghhhh!!!).

And aside from the fact that I think that most feet are somewhat bizarre, mine more so - note the wierd little toe/digit, and perhaps on the ugly side, my feet are really nothing special. But those 48 stitches. Seemed a little too few.

So first I cast on 72 stitches. In the Oriel pattern the first two choices are 48 or 72 stitches. Knit about 4 inches on the foot and realized that 72 stitches was going to be way too big. So I ripped (oh yes I love using that so non politically correct term RIP) it out and recast on with 48 stitches.

I figured I would just give it to my momma (she has lovely dainty little tootsies about size 7 1/2 or so) and that would be that. I was trying to gauge the length as I knit along the crazy assed sock and I figured it was long enough. Having never done a sock from the toe up I now realize there are different considerations.

As I finished the heel flap and gusset I began to realize that this sock was looooong. Really, really long. I move up the gusset decrease and heel-back and the whole thing is starting to bother me. I mean the foot is just plain crazy assed. 48 stitches wide and like 48 feet long! I keep checking out the stretch in this puppy with my hand and it is crazy. I can stick my fist in no problem; stretches just fine.

So I think what the heck; I will try it on. You know what? The crazy assed sock fits. Like a glove. Like it was made for me.

In fact, there is even a little room around the ankle. Go figure.

This is one crazy assed sock!

The detail looks good, the lace shows off really nicely and it fits so good. I can't even believe it. The Ronald MacDonald sock with 48 stitches fits my foot! I don't know if my mom is going to see this sock (it may be a little long for her). I seriously want to get this crazy assed sock finished and block it. I just keep shaking my head! The shawl is done. Another miracle. Soaked it for 15 minutes in Eucalan and rinsed lightly. Wow did it grow. It was just a little lump and then suddenly it was about 10 feet long! I rolled it in a towel and laid it across our bed (we have a king size and it went down the sides). I was very impressed with how much it grew. Now when I was casting on and casting off the instructions stated to do so very very loosely. I did think at the time I was doing it loosely but I realized as I laid it out that one could do this incredibly loosely. There are a couple of areas where the shawl/scarf is a little tighter. It dried very quickly and the shawl/scarf is so soft. And there is so much of it. Now it is a simple knit, knit, knit pattern but it does show off the varigation quite nicely. I am giving this shawl to my mom when she gets back from Florida (she and my dad have been gone for about 2 months). I am giving her the Olympic Shrug and perhaps the Crazy Assed Socks. I also have to finish sewing up and finishing her Four Panel Jacket. I missed my mom. I am so glad she is going to be back soon. I do think she will like the shawl though; it looks good and feels very nice too. Sure doesn't look like that 'ole lump anymore!